As Leon has grown older, the way he responds when being asked to do something or being told ‘no’ has changed hugely. Previously, when being asked do something, he would sometimes just say ‘no’ and refuse. For example, if he was on my phone and I asked him to ‘give it back’ he might just point blank refuse (extremely frustrating). I then should most definitely not go and snatch it off him because: 1) that’s teaching him that snatching is ok when we don’t get our way. 2) he could instinctively react and just lob the phone. In no way am I saying that he is a naughty child or anything of the sort, however sometimes when it comes to communicating with him it can be hard. Whether this be him getting frustrated and throwing the phone, or even me getting irritated and raising my voice at him, which may sometimes wind him up further. This is why I now view communication as being so important. Whether this be with my brother or even anyone in life. The way I speak to Leon and the words I use will lead to a completely different outcome.

I have found that when I want to ask Leon to do something, or even if he’s feeling overwhelmed and therefore will not settle, if I flip what I’m saying he will nearly always comply. For example, instead of ‘Leon give me back my phone!’ I could try “please could you take my phone and hide it in the drawer over there?’ Now although technically they both come from me wanting to get my phone back, the response I get from it will be differ drastically. The first is me losing my temper, which will likely mean Leon mirrors this. Ultimately, meaning neither of us get what we want and making the whole situation 10x worse. The second, allows Leon to still feel as though he is in control and still being the annoying little brother that he is. But at the end of it: I still manage to get what I set out to do… get my phone back.

Another example is, instead of saying ‘Don’t do that’, I might say ‘why don’t we do that instead’?. Instead of stopping Leon from doing something, I have just altered what he is doing it to. Instead of drawing on the walls, why don’t you draw on the paper’. Not, ‘stop what you’re doing!’ Yes of course Leon needs to know not do draw on the walls, but they way in which I inform him not to do it can change depending on the situation, as well as his mood.