How many times has a well meaning friend or even a family member said this to you?

I can think of countless times where my mum or dad or myself have been told this. Now, the last thing I want to do is to make this appear like I’m complaining because, of course, all that the person is trying to do is to offer support and allow us to have as close to a ‘normal’ life as we can. The word ‘normal’ is a topic I’ll cover in a later blog.

Nevertheless, this saying is both frustrating as well as reassuring. We all know the friend is trying to support and help us the best way that they can. However, in actual fact, we all know that it most definitely is not going to be fine. From the ages of about 5 – 11, we couldn’t take Leon to restaurants. Not because he was ‘naughty’, but because he couldn’t cope with it. What we don’t realise is that autistic children like Leon experience senses on a times 100 magnitude. The sound of people talking is louder, the smells are smellier, that sort of thing. So Leon just couldn’t handle it. We would take games and his iPad to try and distract him in attempts to make him calmer. But it just got to a point where we were like, what is the point, this meal isn’t enjoyable for him or us, so we stopped.

It has now reached a point with Leon where we can actually go to restaurants and he behaves beautifully. But this is because he has matured. Now, obviously he may get bored and want to get up after a while, but to be honest, don’t we all? It’s hard to say every child is like this due to the spectrum being so wide and diverse; however, if you identify certain ways to make it easier for your child, it definitely helps. For example, Leon loves Pizza Express. We go to the same one religiously; he knows the staff (who all know him and are lovely), as well as ordering the same starter, main, dessert, and drink every time. He knows this place, and it means he feels comfortable there. So, there are ways of managing this; it just takes time. And thinking about how you can do things differently. He will be fine, it’s just working out how to make it like that.